Tuesday 22 December 2015

Getting rid of Jealousy and insecurity.





"Jealousy is an emotion, and the word typically refers to the thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, concern, and anxiety over an anticipated loss or status of something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a human connection."




The not so famous ,'anticipated loss' which has killed thousand , no millions of budding relationships still in their innocence. One person gets too attached to fast, fears that the other one isn't up-to speed, starts fearing losing something so great, pushing the other person away by starting to act weird. Not their fault, actually , you can blame all you want, but the harsh truth is none of you are at fault here . 

Everything got screwed up coz one of the biggest truth that governs almost everyone in this life and the world is ....



"With great love comes great fear of losing that great love"

That fear of losing, something that you love so much, the fear of something bad happening during the best of times. It's funny if you look at it in a way that you would never anticipate things suddenly getting better in the middle of chaos. It makes sense if you think about it...

People will always tell you to practice caution, always tell you to keep an eye out for some uncertain, uninvited, out of control , bad thing , that would just come and ruin everything good. They call it precaution, prevention. Basically keep an eye out so that a random bad thing wont walk in and ruin everything... But if that is true, and events are random, feelings and thoughts are random then why not be on a lookout for something random good that would just waltz in and ruin everything that is bad. Funny, right.


Ask anyone who has been into "the mode" for a while, apart from a string of Busted relationships, another thing that would be common with all of them would be the low self worth. Being insecure for a long time does that to you, and being the common factor in all those failures kinda leads a person to believe that there is something wrong with them. 

Middle script: I ll refer to the J-word as "The mode" 

It usually Goes on like this...

  • You fall in love/ you start to like someone
  • You decide that this is great. 
  • Fear starts to creep in, "You don't wanna mess this up" 
  • They miss a few calls or text msgs 
  • You start assuming stuff 
  • They miss some more calls, reschedule dates/ seem distracted
  • You start to wonder what is wrong, They seemed to like you, then why the absence?
  • You come to a conclusion that they might be into you.
  • Makes you feel bad.
  • The brain does what is 'does best', in situations like these
  • Find an external source to blame
  • You go stalking
  • You work out the math/ statistics 
  • And find a third person to blame/ come to a conclusion that there might be someone else.
  • You become jealous/ start acting weird to grab attention. 
  • You forget that this person already likes you
  • Your 'out of character behavior' drives this person away. 
  • You become desperate/ either give up/ or do crazy stuff
  • Finally you give up/ your self esteem has taken a hit/ There was someone better/ you were inferior  
People in "the mode" will often report about this "other guy" or "other girl" who would always be the competition, or trust issues even when the relationship was going on. 

Social media makes it worse. 



Everyone has their own way to deal with insecurity, here is what i did...

 I struggled with "the mode" for a long time, and i also concluded that i have fallen into the pattern of considering myself inferior to the competition. Feeling like the 2nd one always led me to feel like i was unattractive, which manifested physically as me getting tanned, gaining weight, hair loss.. and clicking some of the worst dp's of all time. 

The pattern of failing relationships continued as well. So i got fed up, decided to reboot... my life, i mean, i knew LOA , sky was the limit, at-least theoretically. I gave it all up, left my job, uprooted from mumbai, moved back to my hometown.. to figure out how i can be the best ie; make a lot of money(guys kinda get a kick out of making money- you're gaining weight; make money! - Suffered a heartbreak; Make money! ), Coz if i am the best then i wont loose to anyone.

Started working out to get back in shape, ate the right stuff, even tried to increase my height by a few inches(didn't work), shaved my head to cure my hair. Time passed on, and the work out started to show results, i was in better shape, but that feeling was still there, coz i was hung up on my last heart break. But i was still far from being the best, My friends and family often told me that i was just torturing myself, throwing my life away, but i had to be the best, so that i would never loose again. I knew i had the problem of going into "the mode" and  i had to find was way to stop being insecure. Figured , if i was better than everyone, i would never be insecure again. 

Stumbling onto the solution

Then it hit me that, i cant be better than who i am, i mean 'better' is anyway a relative term, so if you have to be better than someone, you need that someone to compare with, these someones would be the guys who would snatch away my "the one" every damn time.


Also, which one was i trying to surpass ? Was it the guy who works in her office, or her college friend, or her Ex boyfriend, or any random guy how would pay attention to her... Coz these guys seemed to be infinite in number.

I realized that there is always going to be someone better than me.. so if my problem really is that i think that i am less than them, then i am screwed , coz there is no solution to that.

Then i asked myself, are any of these girls really the best one out there, coz that can't be true, i know girls who are much more prettier, and more fun ... then why am i here, in love with these women.. who clearly aren't the best. ???

The answer is love, what makes these relationship special is love, the kind of love that makes me feel a certain way..that other prettier girls don't . Even when i am comfortable with them, they will only be friends, and not special, because they don't make me feel what i need to feel to be in love.

So , if i am willing to settle for someone average (statistically) , shouldn't the other person see the same thing in me, and the fact that i did feel whatever lead me on, means that we both have what it takes to make each other feel whatever we need to feel in order to fall in love and commit.

By that logic, I am fine, and good enough. (It wouldn't have started if i wasn't good enough to be in their life.)

Wow , that's a lot of backstory, pardon me, you simply have to understand one thing..

The Fear that drives you into "the mode", the fear of losing the relationship, is irrational, coz if you wanna see threats there are 3.5 billion of them. Yes there are 3.5 billion other men/women out there, and if you fear "what if he/she runs into someone interesting?" , Guess what...that can happen anywhere and at anytime,  coz everyone in his/her vicinity is interesting in some capacity. And who knows , anything can click with anyone.

What do you do then? I have personally tried to act out of character, just to get attention, i have faked sickness and injury just because i wanted the other person to care... so that i can speed up thing unnaturally. I have seen people turn clingy , crazy , unreasonable and the worst of all controlling. I have seen people forbid their "special someone" to have contact with friends, best friends even family members. But is that the way to keep anyone around? 

Yes.. that's you.. 
The solution

You need to put yourself in the other person's shoes for a while. Would you run off after every random interesting person even when you have a good thing going on with a person that you have chosen to like? If you would... then serves you right, you deserve to be abandoned! But if you are one of the normal ones... you would hold on to the 'interesting person' you already have in your life, coz they are important, and you would like to give it a chance, whatever this is....Now come back into your own shoes, you have to know that there is no competition... If you have invited a decent person in your life,  and this person has chosen to stay, then they will not leave you.. you need not be threatened.. what you really need to pay attention to, is the relationship that you share with this person and cherish it more so that it can transform into something much more solid. 

See... you can waste your time worrying about loss of love... or you can just love. Its you and the other person, no one can come in between you unless you put them there. 

If the love between you two is growing then there is no room for a third person coming in between... This is not about trust, this is about wisdom. Be wise enough to not leave room for a third person, by not paying attention to them. (here i am transcending the laws of psychology and treading into Law of attraction , so you muggles can stop reading now) .

You get whatever you invite, so by being jealous of their best friend/ex/colleague/ family members, you are just inviting them to disrupt your relationship. Hell, just by fearing the loss of the love that you have you are inviting a circumstance that would make that happen (moving out of town/country/planet, finding someone new/ just losing interest because of depression/loss/work/something else). No they are not going to be in love with your "special someone"(that is between them and your special someone) but it will sure seem like that to you , coz you have invited it, and that is what the universe will manifest further. There is no such thing as competition, until you invent and invite it. 

So you want things to get better, you want to see more of them , maybe take the relationship a step further, and you have come to know about this desire of yours through the contrast that you have been feeling in your interactions with them(missing them/ wanting more of them/ feeling the need to take thing further), then, start being appreciative and grateful for what you have with them, and then dream about where you want to take it further, and make sure to explore how it would feel when you are where you want to be. 

take care. 



Thursday 17 December 2015

Do we Create in our Dreams?


So you woke up from a nightmare, or maybe, it was a good dream. Maybe you dreamed of being naked, or flying, or Falling. or you were being chased, or loosing your teeth, maybe you were drowning, missing a flight or a train, unprepared for a maths test, dating and feeling amazing with a person who's face you can't remember now, having sex, playing a part in your favorite movie / tv series/ book. 

Whatever it may be, dreams are a part of everyone's daily life, and i can bet that anyone reading this would have had at least 5 of these at some point or other in their lives. Some of us look for meaning, some of us try to relate these to current ongoings, some of us forget about them. 

Today i am going to tell you 

1. What dreams are, 

and being conscious creators practicing LOA 

2. Do we create while we sleep ? 

The answer to the second one is NO. We Don't . We don't create while we sleep, so if you had a nightmare today threatening your reality or the people in it... please calm down. Everything is fine. 

So then what are Dreams ? 

The Basic Definition of a dream is.. 

"Dreams are successions of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations that occur usually involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep."

A dream is usually a representation of your beliefs and thoughts and emotions held by your subconscious mind in the form of images.  

Our Conscious mind (One we use while we are awake) can on an average get about 60 thousand thoughts in a day, So you see how things that are really important for your emotional and life growth can get lost in that sea of thoughts. The subconscious mind comes to play at night when you are sleeping, so its safe to say that Dreams are a representation of your subconscious mind. 


From the point of view of a conscious creator, a dream can get you a better understanding of your vibration / focus regarding something that you are trying to manifest. 


That way a dream doesn't really contribute in creation but is more of a indicator or your progress or your status regarding the thing you are trying to manifest/ Or your emotional state regarding different areas of your life. 


Depending upon what kind of a person you are your dreams can fall in one of the two categories. 


1.) Straight forward dreams:





Straight - forward dreams are, as name suggests pretty much straight forward, you see someone you know, talk to them, notice them while they are talking to someone else, its simple, the dream is clear and people in the dreams kinda communicate whatever is in their mind. These kind of dreams are also rare. But are pretty simple to interpret. But as with all dreams, they don't predict the future, neither are they revealing anyone's hidden intentions towards you, they are just a representation of your feelings regarding that subject. So, a spouse cheats on you isn't a sign that he/she is going to cheat on you, it may very well represent the insecurity that you may be harboring within yourself for any of the number of reasons, like , abandonment issues, trust issues, self esteem or self worth issues. Long story short, your current emotional state is pointing towards self sabotage or getting hurt, Please take care and change it, start looking for things that make this relationship special, strong, and pay attention to the love that your spouse makes you feel. Don't fret just Start feeling good about it. 


2.) Interpretive dreams. 





The most common dreams, flying, nudity, missing a train, drowning, being chased, all of these fall under interpretive dreams, here the message isn't so straight forward, but is conveyed by using an imagery that uses a lot of symbolism. For example, I am an expert swimmer, but i used to have dreams where i would be on the beach and the water level would be rising, while i be trying find safe ground, and this would make me panic. Now if you look up common dream symbolism, water represents your emotions, a dream about drowning would mean that certain situations in your life are causing you to feel overwhelmed. In my case , i was just running from my feelings. Similarly Dreams of being chased, or dreams of loosing teeth, all of them have their own symbolism, and meaning.

Another common dream that i used to have was driving/walking down a road, sometimes this road would be familiar like a  normal one, other times this road would just take off and go up ,and i would drive up into the sky , and would see the world down from the edges , while taking care not to fall off, one time i was riding a bike with a client of mine, we were taking a road that lead through a forest and further into a tunnel, sometimes these road just end, sometimes they lead me to a place that is out of this world but dangerous. The road kinda represents a Life path, and i could interpret these dreams to know where my current emotional state would be leading me. 

Here are a few dream dictionaries where you could look upon your reoccurring dreams.  Remember , your dreams are a gateway to your subconscious, which is the home to your beliefs, understanding where you are headed with your current beliefs and emotions can help you a long way to help you mold your better future.  





Let us know about the recurring dreams that you are having, down in the comment section. 

Take care and Sweet Dreams. :P


Sunday 2 August 2015

THE ATTITUDE FOR MANIFESTATION




You, me, everyone is at all time telling something or the other to the universe, via our feelings, and the universe is telling us 'stuff' back, by making us feel things.

In a system where the primary form of communication is feelings, Having the right attitude or an outlook or a perspective is very important.

Since long you and i have been hearing to people telling us, to be positive, to keep an upbeat attitude, to show gratitude for all that you have, and for all that you want. All these things, in themselves serve a purpose, a purpose, that when you focus on a thing you like, it will expand.

But what I am talking about today, is attitude, a fresh perspective. Its the perspective of choice!
When life shows us some stuff that we don't have yet, it doesn't mean that the universe is mocking you and that you should feel bad about it, no... We know that every topic is 2 topics the absence and the presence of it , and what side you will notice will depend on your perspective of life.

The perspective that we need, to have is the perspective of presence.


"Look at your life, in a way where you notice and appreciate all the things that you already have.. are grateful and generally happy with all you have, where you spend your time living in the pleasure of experience of all the things that are 'right' with your life, and See the things that you don't have yet, as things that you now want to add to make your already awesome life, More Awesome."

"This Sound's good, lets add this to my life" sounds much better and easier than , " i don't have this! how do i get this ? " 
frown emoticon
The best and the fastest way to manifest something is to have a generally happy attitude, and by happy i don't mean, Putting a brave face, while crying inside, pining for something that you think is missing..... When i say happy, Look at your life, if all that is present in your life, is good, then right now you have no reason to be sad. then you can be happy. if right now there is nothing out there to get you , nothing that becomes an annoyance..Then your life is generally good.. and so you cant be in the state of anxiety, just because you don't have that one thing that you have wanted for so long.

You have to understand that there will always be something you will want , once you get this 'one thing', you will want another , and another and another, so you cant have this attitude of pining for things, why don't you just be at peace, appreciate all that you have, be generally happy, and then order the universe around.. to get you what you want... by... saying...

Universe, i like this, i want this, it would be amazing to have this in my already amazing life, get this to me in the fastest easiest and the best way possible. or show me the best fastest and the easiest path to it."

That is it ... now let the universe plan and plot .. and get you what you want.

Friday 31 July 2015

COMMON LOA MISTAKE : STARTING WITH THE BIGGEST DREAM.



When you first learn about the Law of Attraction, it may be tempting to immediately try to manifest your biggest dreams, like earning million dollars, finding a great relationship or retiring at a young age.  However, our biggest dreams are usually the ones we are furthest away from vibrationally. That’s why big dreams are so big- they feel almost unbelievable! 
Trying to achieve an “almost unbelievable” dream is very challenging.  This is not because it’s impossible or hard for the universe to deliver it, but rather because you don’t believe that it can happen!  If you don’t believe it can happen, it isn’t going to happen.  You must first find a way to believe that you can have what you are dreaming about , and because you are trying to achieve this with the help of the 'Law Of Attraction', you might as well start by establishing your trust in the law and the capabilities of the universe, at the very least, come to terms with the fact that something like the universe does exist. 
It’s much easier to start out by trying to manifest little things because you won’t be so hung up on the outcome.  After seeing the universe deliver little things, you will start to gain confidence in its ability to deliver big things. With practice, the big dreams will start to seem possible.


So below I’ve listed two easy techniques that you can try now to start seeing evidence of the Law of Attraction in your life:

1.  Test the Law of Attraction with words: 

Find a dictionary and look for a word that you’ve never seen before.   
Next, look over the definition and review it until it makes sense to you.  Then, come up with three original sentences that contain your newly learned word and write them down.  
Repeat this process for two more new words.  When you are done, you should have learned a total of three new words and written down three original sentences for each of them (or a grand total of nine sentences).
Next, leave the exercise and go back to doing whatever you need to do.
Wait for your new words to be attracted back to you.  You might hear them used on the radio, see them written in a book, or hear them in a conversation.  

2. Test the Law of Attraction with drawings:

Brainstorm three random items in your mind.  For example, you could brainstorm a zebra, a violin and a thunderstorm.
For each of your items, spend a few minutes drawing a picture to represent that item.  So in my example, I would draw a zebra, a violin and a thunderstorm.  
Draw each picture separately, giving at least two to three minutes of your attention. When you are done, leave the exercise and get back to your day.
Wait for these items to find their way back to you with the Law of Attraction.  You might see a picture of a zebra, find yourself listening to music played by a violin or a thunderstorm might come rolling in.
The beauty of these strategies is that because you are trying to attract random items you will not be very attached to the outcome of the test.  The less attachment you have to your desires the easier they come to you.
You might be surprised just how quickly these things find their way back to you.  Finding fast evidence of the Law of Attraction is a great way to build up belief in the process, which will help you use it consistently!



Tuesday 19 May 2015

6 More Ways Law Of Attraction can Improve your Life - Part-2

The law is simply this: We attract whatever we think about, good or bad.


Whether of not you believe in it , it had been working for you from behind the scenes all your life, and it will continue to do so, for the rest of your life. 
Here is the part-2 of the list. 6 more things that you should know about The Law of attraction so that you can improve your life. 

Click here for Part 1 



 1. You can increase your chances of manifesting by devoting time to 'Powerful thinking' each day.

Spend 15 minutes every day thinking hard about your goals, dreams and what you want from life. The more you think and talk about 'what you want and how it will be once it comes' the greater will be your desire for it , greater your belief, and faster your manifestation. 

So, this is how the all the pieces fit in.

Now, many of you will tell me that you do this everyday, yet no manifestations, i am not denying the fact that you think about what you want, but there i am encouraging you to think and talk and write and focus more on defining and fine tuning the 'Outcome'.  Keeping aside 15 minutes a day before going to bed, and focusing on 'how amazing that new relationship will be', or describing what are you going to do with all the 'extra money', will make you more aligned with the 'having' of your desire in real life,  and help you manifest quickly. 


2. Success isn't a finite resource, everyone can be successful.

Others being successful doesn't limit your success. And by attracting abundance to yourself, you are not limiting another. In other word, there is no quota for success. Anyone and everyone can be successful, depending on their thoughts, beliefs and focus. Money as a resource will be transferred to you if you ask for it. We criticize the 1 % or the creamy layer for having all the money , we think that because they have it all, we cant have it, but the truth is much more simpler, Money and success will flock to anyone who is Focused on it, who is attracting it, who talks about it at-least once a day, and describes having it at-least once a day.   

Accept that success can come to you>> Allow it to flow to you >> Attract it by talking more about it>>> Maintain it by appreciating once it starts to come. 

 So accept the fact that you can be successful. Allow it to come to you by not comparing yourself to others, and nothing falling in old patterns of comparing yourself to others. Attract success by talking/ writing / visualizing about it once a day, and having fun with this activity, not talking bout the 'HOW' but talking about, how it will be once it comes. And once it starts showing up , appreciate your efforts, and appreciate whatever success that starts showing up... so that it can stay and grow. 

3. Don't Allow yourself to wallow in disappointment. 

Being disappointed only attracts more stuff to be upset about and is only sends a sign that you're not getting what you want in life, so the universe obliges. And gives you more of things to be upset about. 

 
 Think and talk and fill up your day with mention of things that you would love to have, doesn't matter if you don't know the how of them, just talk about them, and have fun with the description.

4. Avoid Tv shows that deal with negative experiences like crime or illness.

Letting this stuff in makes you think about it more and increases the odds it could happen to you. "Your attention to anything is drawing it closer to you,"






 'Informative Murder Porn' As 'south park' so cleverly called it. 

We live in the world where we invite things into our lives, by paying attention to them, and fueling them with our emotion, so then how in the world is , watching people suffering and feeling their pain as it were our own , is  a good idea ??

If you want to stop war, then talk more  of peace, not a WAR PROTEST ! 
If you want to stop rape, then talk more about Safety of women , Not a Rape protest, and i don't care if its a candle march... 

Where is the tv shows that shows us the stories of men, who protect the women ?, Where are the tv shows that show us that part of the world that is good, and decent, where everyone is treated fairly and equally. 

Where is the tv show that shows the loving father that devotes his life to his daughter ? why do they have to feed us something incestuous and scandalous every now and then. You know what, its our fault, we don't appreciate a loving father, but we hate a bad one... because a loving father is a normal father, and that is just not interesting enough, so we take that for granted, instead we spend most of our time trying to make a list of all bad things imaginable, all with the noblest of intentions... 'So i can protect myself against them'. But in the end , you and i both live in a world where our future is decided by our attention. Now tell me , what do you want to pay attention to? and yes there is no such thing as a 'Dont want this/ no'. 

Now think hard... have you been causing your own misery ???

5. You invite everyone that comes into your Life. 

All the people in your life right now are there because you have invited them, you may deny this, but they all have a purpose and they all are there to be a match to one or other belief that you might hold about your self and life in general.

  







People fight you because you are there to answer their invitation for a fight and do what they want, people love you because you are there to answer to that invitation and be the person that they can love. In the same way, people come into your life to match up to a need or a positive or negative belief that you are holding at the moment. Does that explain your boss ???

6. Don't worry about your dreams, Use your dreams as a guide. 




 

Your dreams don't contribute into your process of manifestation or creation. they are a representation of your beliefs and limiting beliefs that you might have regarding a goal that you have in mind. And in that respect Dreams do provide a lot of clarity. 




 
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