The not so famous ,'anticipated loss' which has killed thousand , no millions of budding relationships still in their innocence. One person gets too attached to fast, fears that the other one isn't up-to speed, starts fearing losing something so great, pushing the other person away by starting to act weird. Not their fault, actually , you can blame all you want, but the harsh truth is none of you are at fault here . 

Everything got screwed up coz one of the biggest truth that governs almost everyone in this life and the world is ....

"With great love comes great fear of losing that great love"

That fear of losing, something that you love so much, the fear of something bad happening during the best of times. It's funny if you look at it in a way that you would never anticipate things suddenly getting better in the middle of chaos. It makes sense if you think about it...

People will always tell you to practice caution, always tell you to keep an eye out for some uncertain, uninvited, out of control , bad thing , that would just come and ruin everything good. They call it precaution, prevention. Basically keep an eye out so that a random bad thing wont walk in and ruin everything... But if that is true, and events are random, feelings and thoughts are random then why not be on a lookout for something random good that would just waltz in and ruin everything that is bad. Funny, right.

Ask anyone who has been into "the mode" for a while, apart from a string of Busted relationships, another thing that would be common with all of them would be the low self worth. Being insecure for a long time does that to you, and being the common factor in all those failures kinda leads a person to believe that there is something wrong with them. 

Middle script: I ll refer to the J-word as "The mode" 

It usually Goes on like this...

• You fall in love/ you start to like someone
• You decide that this is great. 
• Fear starts to creep in, "You don't wanna mess this up" 
• They miss a few calls or text msgs 
• You start assuming stuff 
• They miss some more calls, reschedule dates/ seem distracted
• You start to wonder what is wrong, They seemed to like you, then why the absence?
• You come to a conclusion that they might be into you.
• Makes you feel bad.
• The brain does what is 'does best', in situations like these
• Find an external source to blame
• You go stalking
• You work out the math/ statistics 
• And find a third person to blame/ come to a conclusion that there might be someone else.
• You become jealous/ start acting weird to grab attention. 
• You forget that this person already likes you
• Your 'out of character behavior' drives this person away. 
• You become desperate/ either give up/ or do crazy stuff
• Finally you give up/ your self esteem has taken a hit/ There was someone better/ you were inferior  

People in "the mode" will often report about this "other guy" or "other girl" who would always be the competition, or trust issues even when the relationship was going on. 

Everyone has their own way to deal with insecurity, here is what i did...

 I struggled with "the mode" for a long time, and i also concluded that i have fallen into the pattern of considering myself inferior to the competition. Feeling like the 2nd one always led me to feel like i was unattractive, which manifested physically as me getting tanned, gaining weight, hair loss.. and clicking some of the worst dp's of all time. 

The pattern of failing relationships continued as well. So i got fed up, decided to reboot... my life, i mean, i knew LOA , sky was the limit, at-least theoretically. I gave it all up, left my job, uprooted from mumbai, moved back to my hometown.. to figure out how i can be the best ie; make a lot of money(guys kinda get a kick out of making money- you're gaining weight; make money! - Suffered a heartbreak; Make money! ), Coz if i am the best then i wont loose to anyone.

Started working out to get back in shape, ate the right stuff, even tried to increase my height by a few inches(didn't work), shaved my head to cure my hair. Time passed on, and the work out started to show results, i was in better shape, but that feeling was still there, coz i was hung up on my last heart break. But i was still far from being the best, My friends and family often told me that i was just torturing myself, throwing my life away, but i had to be the best, so that i would never loose again. I knew i had the problem of going into "the mode" and  i had to find was way to stop being insecure. Figured , if i was better than everyone, i would never be insecure again. 

Stumbling onto the solution

Then it hit me that, i cant be better than who i am, i mean 'better' is anyway a relative term, so if you have to be better than someone, you need that someone to compare with, these someones would be the guys who would snatch away my "the one" every damn time.

Also, which one was i trying to surpass ? Was it the guy who works in her office, or her college friend, or her Ex boyfriend, or any random guy how would pay attention to her... Coz these guys seemed to be infinite in number.

I realized that there is always going to be someone better than me.. so if my problem really is that i think that i am less than them, then i am screwed , coz there is no solution to that.

Then i asked myself, are any of these girls really the best one out there, coz that can't be true, i know girls who are much more prettier, and more fun ... then why am i here, in love with these women.. who clearly aren't the best. ???

The answer is love, what makes these relationship special is love, the kind of love that makes me feel a certain way..that other prettier girls don't . Even when i am comfortable with them, they will only be friends, and not special, because they don't make me feel what i need to feel to be in love.

So , if i am willing to settle for someone average (statistically) , shouldn't the other person see the same thing in me, and the fact that i did feel whatever lead me on, means that we both have what it takes to make each other feel whatever we need to feel in order to fall in love and commit.

By that logic, I am fine, and good enough. (It wouldn't have started if i wasn't good enough to be in their life.)

Wow , that's a lot of backstory, pardon me, you simply have to understand one thing..

The Fear that drives you into "the mode", the fear of losing the relationship, is irrational, coz if you wanna see threats there are 3.5 billion of them. Yes there are 3.5 billion other men/women out there, and if you fear "what if he/she runs into someone interesting?" , Guess what...that can happen anywhere and at anytime,  coz everyone in his/her vicinity is interesting in some capacity. And who knows , anything can click with anyone.

What do you do then? I have personally tried to act out of character, just to get attention, i have faked sickness and injury just because i wanted the other person to care... so that i can speed up thing unnaturally. I have seen people turn clingy , crazy , unreasonable and the worst of all controlling. I have seen people forbid their "special someone" to have contact with friends, best friends even family members. But is that the way to keep anyone around? 

The solution

You need to put yourself in the other person's shoes for a while. Would you run off after every random interesting person even when you have a good thing going on with a person that you have chosen to like? If you would... then serves you right, you deserve to be abandoned! But if you are one of the normal ones... you would hold on to the 'interesting person' you already have in your life, coz they are important, and you would like to give it a chance, whatever this is....Now come back into your own shoes, you have to know that there is no competition... If you have invited a decent person in your life,  and this person has chosen to stay, then they will not leave you.. you need not be threatened.. what you really need to pay attention to, is the relationship that you share with this person and cherish it more so that it can transform into something much more solid. 

See... you can waste your time worrying about loss of love... or you can just love. Its you and the other person, no one can come in between you unless you put them there. 

If the love between you two is growing then there is no room for a third person coming in between... This is not about trust, this is about wisdom. Be wise enough to not leave room for a third person, by not paying attention to them. (here i am transcending the laws of psychology and treading into Law of attraction , so you muggles can stop reading now) .

You get whatever you invite, so by being jealous of their best friend/ex/colleague/ family members, you are just inviting them to disrupt your relationship. Hell, just by fearing the loss of the love that you have you are inviting a circumstance that would make that happen (moving out of town/country/planet, finding someone new/ just losing interest because of depression/loss/work/something else). No they are not going to be in love with your "special someone"(that is between them and your special someone) but it will sure seem like that to you , coz you have invited it, and that is what the universe will manifest further. There is no such thing as competition, until you invent and invite it. 

So you want things to get better, you want to see more of them , maybe take the relationship a step further, and you have come to know about this desire of yours through the contrast that you have been feeling in your interactions with them(missing them/ wanting more of them/ feeling the need to take thing further), then, start being appreciative and grateful for what you have with them, and then dream about where you want to take it further, and make sure to explore how it would feel when you are where you want to be. 

take care. 

Whether of not you believe in it , it had been working for you from behind the scenes all your life, and it will continue to do so, for the rest of your life. 

Spend 15 minutes every day thinking hard about your goals, dreams and what you want from life. The more you think and talk about 'what you want and how it will be once it comes' the greater will be your desire for it , greater your belief, and faster your manifestation. 

Now, many of you will tell me that you do this everyday, yet no manifestations, i am not denying the fact that you think about what you want, but there i am encouraging you to think and talk and write and focus more on defining and fine tuning the 'Outcome'.  Keeping aside 15 minutes a day before going to bed, and focusing on 'how amazing that new relationship will be', or describing what are you going to do with all the 'extra money', will make you more aligned with the 'having' of your desire in real life,  and help you manifest quickly. 

2. Success isn't a finite resource, everyone can be successful.

Others being successful doesn't limit your success. And by attracting abundance to yourself, you are not limiting another. In other word, there is no quota for success. Anyone and everyone can be successful, depending on their thoughts, beliefs and focus. Money as a resource will be transferred to you if you ask for it. We criticize the 1 % or the creamy layer for having all the money , we think that because they have it all, we cant have it, but the truth is much more simpler, Money and success will flock to anyone who is Focused on it, who is attracting it, who talks about it at-least once a day, and describes having it at-least once a day.   

 So accept the fact that you can be successful. Allow it to come to you by not comparing yourself to others, and nothing falling in old patterns of comparing yourself to others. Attract success by talking/ writing / visualizing about it once a day, and having fun with this activity, not talking bout the 'HOW' but talking about, how it will be once it comes. And once it starts showing up , appreciate your efforts, and appreciate whatever success that starts showing up... so that it can stay and grow. 

3. Don't Allow yourself to wallow in disappointment. 

Being disappointed only attracts more stuff to be upset about and is only sends a sign that you're not getting what you want in life, so the universe obliges. And gives you more of things to be upset about. 

 

 Think and talk and fill up your day with mention of things that you would love to have, doesn't matter if you don't know the how of them, just talk about them, and have fun with the description.

4. Avoid Tv shows that deal with negative experiences like crime or illness.

Letting this stuff in makes you think about it more and increases the odds it could happen to you. "Your attention to anything is drawing it closer to you,". 

 'Informative Murder Porn' As 'south park' so cleverly called it. 

We live in the world where we invite things into our lives, by paying attention to them, and fueling them with our emotion, so then how in the world is , watching people suffering and feeling their pain as it were our own , is  a good idea ??

If you want to stop war, then talk more  of peace, not a WAR PROTEST ! 

If you want to stop rape, then talk more about Safety of women , Not a Rape protest, and i don't care if its a candle march... 

Where is the tv shows that shows us the stories of men, who protect the women ?, Where are the tv shows that show us that part of the world that is good, and decent, where everyone is treated fairly and equally. 

Where is the tv show that shows the loving father that devotes his life to his daughter ? why do they have to feed us something incestuous and scandalous every now and then. You know what, its our fault, we don't appreciate a loving father, but we hate a bad one... because a loving father is a normal father, and that is just not interesting enough, so we take that for granted, instead we spend most of our time trying to make a list of all bad things imaginable, all with the noblest of intentions... 'So i can protect myself against them'. But in the end , you and i both live in a world where our future is decided by our attention. Now tell me , what do you want to pay attention to? and yes there is no such thing as a 'Dont want this/ no'. 

Now think hard... have you been causing your own misery ???

5. You invite everyone that comes into your Life. 

All the people in your life right now are there because you have invited them, you may deny this, but they all have a purpose and they all are there to be a match to one or other belief that you might hold about your self and life in general.

  

People fight you because you are there to answer their invitation for a fight and do what they want, people love you because you are there to answer to that invitation and be the person that they can love. In the same way, people come into your life to match up to a need or a positive or negative belief that you are holding at the moment. Does that explain your boss ???

 

Whether of not you believe in it , it had been working for you from behind the scenes all your life, and it will continue to do so, for the rest of your life. 

Here i am going to do a 2 part list of things that you should know about The Law of attraction so that you can improve your life. 

"The one who speaks most about illness has illness. The one who speaks about prosperity has prosperity,". "You attract all of it." By focusing on something, you make it happen.

When you thinking about anything and feeling good or bad about it , you are in that moment communicating with the universe, which responds to that communication by creating experiences in your future, that would further amplify the previously communicated feelings. 

So feeling bad about stuff creates Bad stuff , and feeling good about stuff creates good Stuff. 

So life and all its experiences are created from within you, and so, you are in control, you at any moment can decide to create good things for yourself only. 

"When you think a little thought of something that you want, through the Law of Attraction, that thought grows larger and larger, and more and more powerful," according to the book. So keep your thoughts positive.

The universe doesn't hear the word 'NO' , It only hears what you are thinking about and how you are feeling about it. And based on this information it gives you  All ! Everything that you think about comes to you, and depending on the emotion that you had associated with it.. it is either GOOD for you or BAD.

This allows you to create your own reality by "attracting" the experiences you want to have. The more you focus on something, and pay attention to it, the more it comes into your experience. And this is true for both the 'good' and the 'bad'. 

So , if you pay attention to all that is good in your life, or even if you just appreciate all that is right in your life, and feel good about them, They will just grow, and provide you with more happiness in the coming days, Because when you do pay attention and feel good about all that is good, the universe just hears :   "I like this,this makes me happy, i want more of this". The universe will work on making more positive for you.

Similarly, if you pay attention and get irritated by every small thing, you are telling the universe : "This makes me feel bad, i want more of this". And the universe obliges, makes the situation worse. And you see that things that were just minor annoyances at first are now big problems. 

"Want" and "desire" consist of wanting "to focus attention, or give thought toward a subject, while at the same time experiencing positive emotion. When you give your attention to a subject and you feel only positive emotion about it as you do so, it will come very quickly into your experience.

The best way to give this attention is, to Talk about what you want more and more, describing how it will be when if comes, and how it will feel , and how it change your life, and having fun and enthusiasm while talking/writing about this helps a lot. And how do you tell that it has started working? well it's simple, the first sign of a manifestation is a 'good feeling', so while talking/writing about your desire if you can access that good feeling, it means that your manifestation has started , and from here on the 'good' will only become 'better'. 

This is something that successful people know about. It's also called visualization. 

"In order to effect true positive change in your experience, you must disregard how things are — as well as how others are seeing you — and give more of your attention to the way you prefer things to be"

The reality that you see in front of you now, is only a result/manifestation of all the thoughts and feelings you had in the past. so what you see in front of you is a 'RESULT'. 'An Outcome'. So your future is not decided by what is your reality, because often we do that, we see what is in front of us, and we damn our-selves to fail in the future, by thinking that the future wont be any better. But that is simply not true , right now in this moment anything you give attention too will become your future, right now you are free, the thoughts and feelings given by you in the past have already manifested and they form you 'now' reality, and if you don't like this 'now' reality all you need to do is choose what you want for yourself in the future and pay attention to that, and that will come to be. 

Stay tuned for part 2.