Showing posts with label Mind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mind. Show all posts

Saturday, 18 June 2016

WHY YOU SHOULD CHOOSE LOVE OVER HATING ALL THAT IS WRONG



LOA, the Universe and this life, it's all about choices, we might think that we are just victims to our circumstances, but that is far from the truth. At every point in our life we have 'a choice' to choose from one of the two, love or hate/resistance/annoyance. As the person responsible for your own life, it is your duty to seek out and pay attention to what you love about yourself , others and the situation at hand. Even if you cant see anything worth loving in the moment, you have to use your imagination to come up with something that you might love regarding a situation or the person. 

You can start with the 'what if ' game.

'What if this situation resolves itself in a perfect and easy and smooth way, it would be nice to see that happen.'

 or in case of an unpleasant person..

 'What if this person was in a good mood today, and spoke nicely'

 or if you a feeling extra cocky, why not throw in some...

 'What if this person gave me a sincere compliment'.

 Doing these things change the way you feel about a particular situation, suddenly you feel better about your situation, suddenly that scary boss isn't that scary anymore.

 The universe picks up on our emotional state and tries to match that by designing the upcoming events and outcomes to match our new and improved emotional state.

When you choose to hate or bash things , you have a bad emotional response about those things, Missing stuff is going to get you more missing, resisting more resistance, fear will get you more to be fearful about, running will give you more to run from, When you hate life, the universe picks up and shapes life to be consistently hated.  The universe is simple and perfect that way, it will give you all that matches your emotional state. 

 So, it makes perfect sense to take control of you emotional state. 

Now , many of you might think that your emotional state can't be controlled , or it's hard to do so, or you expect me to be aware all the time? I know, it's kind of hard at first, people spend their whole life reacting to circumstances and creating more unknowingly. 
But, it's not impossible, it can be done with a little practice, i mean you will obviously have to get rid of habits like 'wallowing in self pity' and  'blaming stuff, and others for your misery', because doing so, makes you docile or angry, and both are far away from joy and love and self awareness. 

 One of the easiest way to start of is setting periodic reminders on your phone daily which would ask you regularly, "How are you feeling?". 

 We feel stuff all the time, but we never ask ourselves, what is it that we are feeling, broadly speaking, all feelings can be summed down to varying degrees of good or bad. 

 So then why don't you just ask yourself every now and then, Are you feeling Good or bad? If you need assistance, set a few periodic alarms so you don't just forget. 
Whenever the alarms asks you "how are you feeling?", take a moment and try and reflect on your emotional state, look if anything is bothering you, any feeling that is causing you to feel less than calm and free, if you find anything look for a root thought, that is causing you to have concern. Once you find it, choose to let it go, coz concern doesn't solve anything. The only thing that can take care of this problem (real or imaginary) is a positive feeling. 
Time to play the "What if" game and imagine a perfectly generalized easy and smooth solution to your concern/ problem, and love the idea of it till it gives you relief , and you start to feel better. 



Tuesday, 22 December 2015

Getting rid of Jealousy and insecurity.





"Jealousy is an emotion, and the word typically refers to the thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, concern, and anxiety over an anticipated loss or status of something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a human connection."




The not so famous ,'anticipated loss' which has killed thousand , no millions of budding relationships still in their innocence. One person gets too attached to fast, fears that the other one isn't up-to speed, starts fearing losing something so great, pushing the other person away by starting to act weird. Not their fault, actually , you can blame all you want, but the harsh truth is none of you are at fault here . 

Everything got screwed up coz one of the biggest truth that governs almost everyone in this life and the world is ....



"With great love comes great fear of losing that great love"

That fear of losing, something that you love so much, the fear of something bad happening during the best of times. It's funny if you look at it in a way that you would never anticipate things suddenly getting better in the middle of chaos. It makes sense if you think about it...

People will always tell you to practice caution, always tell you to keep an eye out for some uncertain, uninvited, out of control , bad thing , that would just come and ruin everything good. They call it precaution, prevention. Basically keep an eye out so that a random bad thing wont walk in and ruin everything... But if that is true, and events are random, feelings and thoughts are random then why not be on a lookout for something random good that would just waltz in and ruin everything that is bad. Funny, right.


Ask anyone who has been into "the mode" for a while, apart from a string of Busted relationships, another thing that would be common with all of them would be the low self worth. Being insecure for a long time does that to you, and being the common factor in all those failures kinda leads a person to believe that there is something wrong with them. 

Middle script: I ll refer to the J-word as "The mode" 

It usually Goes on like this...

  • You fall in love/ you start to like someone
  • You decide that this is great. 
  • Fear starts to creep in, "You don't wanna mess this up" 
  • They miss a few calls or text msgs 
  • You start assuming stuff 
  • They miss some more calls, reschedule dates/ seem distracted
  • You start to wonder what is wrong, They seemed to like you, then why the absence?
  • You come to a conclusion that they might be into you.
  • Makes you feel bad.
  • The brain does what is 'does best', in situations like these
  • Find an external source to blame
  • You go stalking
  • You work out the math/ statistics 
  • And find a third person to blame/ come to a conclusion that there might be someone else.
  • You become jealous/ start acting weird to grab attention. 
  • You forget that this person already likes you
  • Your 'out of character behavior' drives this person away. 
  • You become desperate/ either give up/ or do crazy stuff
  • Finally you give up/ your self esteem has taken a hit/ There was someone better/ you were inferior  
People in "the mode" will often report about this "other guy" or "other girl" who would always be the competition, or trust issues even when the relationship was going on. 

Social media makes it worse. 



Everyone has their own way to deal with insecurity, here is what i did...

 I struggled with "the mode" for a long time, and i also concluded that i have fallen into the pattern of considering myself inferior to the competition. Feeling like the 2nd one always led me to feel like i was unattractive, which manifested physically as me getting tanned, gaining weight, hair loss.. and clicking some of the worst dp's of all time. 

The pattern of failing relationships continued as well. So i got fed up, decided to reboot... my life, i mean, i knew LOA , sky was the limit, at-least theoretically. I gave it all up, left my job, uprooted from mumbai, moved back to my hometown.. to figure out how i can be the best ie; make a lot of money(guys kinda get a kick out of making money- you're gaining weight; make money! - Suffered a heartbreak; Make money! ), Coz if i am the best then i wont loose to anyone.

Started working out to get back in shape, ate the right stuff, even tried to increase my height by a few inches(didn't work), shaved my head to cure my hair. Time passed on, and the work out started to show results, i was in better shape, but that feeling was still there, coz i was hung up on my last heart break. But i was still far from being the best, My friends and family often told me that i was just torturing myself, throwing my life away, but i had to be the best, so that i would never loose again. I knew i had the problem of going into "the mode" and  i had to find was way to stop being insecure. Figured , if i was better than everyone, i would never be insecure again. 

Stumbling onto the solution

Then it hit me that, i cant be better than who i am, i mean 'better' is anyway a relative term, so if you have to be better than someone, you need that someone to compare with, these someones would be the guys who would snatch away my "the one" every damn time.


Also, which one was i trying to surpass ? Was it the guy who works in her office, or her college friend, or her Ex boyfriend, or any random guy how would pay attention to her... Coz these guys seemed to be infinite in number.

I realized that there is always going to be someone better than me.. so if my problem really is that i think that i am less than them, then i am screwed , coz there is no solution to that.

Then i asked myself, are any of these girls really the best one out there, coz that can't be true, i know girls who are much more prettier, and more fun ... then why am i here, in love with these women.. who clearly aren't the best. ???

The answer is love, what makes these relationship special is love, the kind of love that makes me feel a certain way..that other prettier girls don't . Even when i am comfortable with them, they will only be friends, and not special, because they don't make me feel what i need to feel to be in love.

So , if i am willing to settle for someone average (statistically) , shouldn't the other person see the same thing in me, and the fact that i did feel whatever lead me on, means that we both have what it takes to make each other feel whatever we need to feel in order to fall in love and commit.

By that logic, I am fine, and good enough. (It wouldn't have started if i wasn't good enough to be in their life.)

Wow , that's a lot of backstory, pardon me, you simply have to understand one thing..

The Fear that drives you into "the mode", the fear of losing the relationship, is irrational, coz if you wanna see threats there are 3.5 billion of them. Yes there are 3.5 billion other men/women out there, and if you fear "what if he/she runs into someone interesting?" , Guess what...that can happen anywhere and at anytime,  coz everyone in his/her vicinity is interesting in some capacity. And who knows , anything can click with anyone.

What do you do then? I have personally tried to act out of character, just to get attention, i have faked sickness and injury just because i wanted the other person to care... so that i can speed up thing unnaturally. I have seen people turn clingy , crazy , unreasonable and the worst of all controlling. I have seen people forbid their "special someone" to have contact with friends, best friends even family members. But is that the way to keep anyone around? 

Yes.. that's you.. 
The solution

You need to put yourself in the other person's shoes for a while. Would you run off after every random interesting person even when you have a good thing going on with a person that you have chosen to like? If you would... then serves you right, you deserve to be abandoned! But if you are one of the normal ones... you would hold on to the 'interesting person' you already have in your life, coz they are important, and you would like to give it a chance, whatever this is....Now come back into your own shoes, you have to know that there is no competition... If you have invited a decent person in your life,  and this person has chosen to stay, then they will not leave you.. you need not be threatened.. what you really need to pay attention to, is the relationship that you share with this person and cherish it more so that it can transform into something much more solid. 

See... you can waste your time worrying about loss of love... or you can just love. Its you and the other person, no one can come in between you unless you put them there. 

If the love between you two is growing then there is no room for a third person coming in between... This is not about trust, this is about wisdom. Be wise enough to not leave room for a third person, by not paying attention to them. (here i am transcending the laws of psychology and treading into Law of attraction , so you muggles can stop reading now) .

You get whatever you invite, so by being jealous of their best friend/ex/colleague/ family members, you are just inviting them to disrupt your relationship. Hell, just by fearing the loss of the love that you have you are inviting a circumstance that would make that happen (moving out of town/country/planet, finding someone new/ just losing interest because of depression/loss/work/something else). No they are not going to be in love with your "special someone"(that is between them and your special someone) but it will sure seem like that to you , coz you have invited it, and that is what the universe will manifest further. There is no such thing as competition, until you invent and invite it. 

So you want things to get better, you want to see more of them , maybe take the relationship a step further, and you have come to know about this desire of yours through the contrast that you have been feeling in your interactions with them(missing them/ wanting more of them/ feeling the need to take thing further), then, start being appreciative and grateful for what you have with them, and then dream about where you want to take it further, and make sure to explore how it would feel when you are where you want to be. 

take care. 

Monday, 27 April 2015

Relationship Insights ! (Personality test)



I took this test in the fall of 2013 . It gave me a lot of insight when i was suffering in a relationship. I ll describe my 'take' on this once you are done with the test. 



To look within.


NO CHEATING! That will take all the fun out of it.
This is a very interesting test. Try it.

Have a pen and paper handy before you read any further. As soon as you read a question, write the answer right away.

Make sure to answer questions 1-8 before moving on…NO CHEATING!!

Read the following questions, imagining the scenes in your mind, and write down the FIRST thing that you visualize. Do not think about the questions excessively.

1. You are not alone. You are walking in the woods. Who are you walking with?
2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal is it?
3. What interaction takes place between you and the animal?
4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your dream house. Describe its size?
5. Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?
6. You enter the house. You walk to the dining area and see the dining room table. Describe what you see on AND around the table.
7. You exit the house through the back door. Lying in the grass is a cup. What material is the cup made of?
8. What do you do with the cup?
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Done ?
...
...
...
 
This has been a relational psychology test. The answers given to the questions have been shown to have a relevance to values and ideals that we hold in our personal lives. Its more of a reflection on how you are currently perceiving your relationship with someone. The analysis follows:

1. The person who you are walking with is the most important person in your life.
2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems.
3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems. (passive/aggressive)
4. The size of your dream house is representative of the size of your ambition to resolve your problems.
5. No fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You’d prefer people not to drop by unannounced.
6. If your answer did not include food, people, or flowers, then you are generally unhappy.
7. The durability of the material with which the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship with the person named in number 1. For example, Styrofoam, and paper are all disposable, Styrofoam, paper and glass are not durable, and metal and plastic are durable.
8. Your disposition of the cup is representative of your attitude towards the person in number 1.


My own test results: 

I was in relationship dump when i first took this one... gave me a lot of insight and clarity .

Here is what happened. 

Question 1: You are not alone. You are walking in the woods. Who are you walking with?
Answer 1. I saw myself walking with this girl that i had been in love with for a long time, but things weren't working out. Lets call her 'Robin' to protect the identity of the innocent . 

Analysis : Yes she was kinda always on my mind, so its safe to say that she was and still is important. 

Question 2: You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal is it?
Answer 2: The animal that i saw was a Deer, a Stag to be more precise, had antlers and all, strong and robust. 

Come at me bro ! :p

Analysis :  Now deer is a medium sized animal , and is a quite docile one generally, until you go a lock horns with it. Same for my problems in my relationship, they were there , they weren't monumental , but yes they gave me a lot of pain , if i tried to solve them , or approach them aggressively with an intent to solve them. The test says that animal is representative of the perception of the size of my problem. 'Perception' being the key word here. Perception is my own view of the world, and often it doesn't really have any roots in Actual reality. In a objective world view, nothing no where is Right or Wrong, and so my problems are not really problems, they are more like situations, that are just present, And have the choice to give these situations the power to make me feel good or bad by assigning them the tag of good or bad. So my perception will constantly change with how hopeful i am or how fearful i am regarding a particular situation. So the more hopeful i am, the smaller the animal will be, and smaller my problem will actually be.  That is a relief. 


Question 3: What interaction takes place between you and the animal?
Answer 3: The stag looks at me , i don't react , it runs away. 
Analysis : In the past i have been the, Fight it out , deal with it kinda person, but recently i have been more of a 'at peace' , 'i just wanna be happy kinda person' so, i didn't aggravate my problems, and so they left me alone. at-least i had that working out for me. 


 Question 4: You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your dream  house. Describe its size?
 Answer no 4: I saw a big Wooden house, luxurious, Spacious, and comfortable.  

Close enough...

Analysis: As i told you before , lately i had been more occupied with the resolve to be happy, so yes this house in all its glory represented a peaceful , tranquil , and comfortable approach in my ways of solving my problems. 


Question 5: Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?
Answer 5: There was no Fence. 
Analysis: Yes i am a more open minded person, it wasn't true before , but lately i have been more accepting and peaceful, and open to new information, and expansion.


Question 6: You enter the house. You walk to the dining area and see the dining room table. Describe what you see on AND around the table?
Answer 6: So i saw a huge dining hall , i was alone, big table, hunting trophies on the wall, quite. no there were no flowers , people , children . 
Analysis : Well i had been a fearful person till now, and yes, fearful ones are never generally happy.. and my quest for peace and my own happiness came from this unhappiness only. so quite true. 


Question 7: You exit the house through the back door. Lying in the grass is a cup. What material is the cup made of?
Answer 7: So i went through the back door , a white porcelain cup lay in the grass. 

Doesn't wear over time, but requires good handling.

Analysis : Now i have always perceived Porcelain cups to be beautiful, smooth, easy to hold, feel good in your fingers And everlasting if you handle it with care. And that is how i looked at my relationship with Robin, it was good , smooth, beautiful ,and gave me and her joy , and yes it had the potential to last for ever . But at the same time porcelain cups are kind of fragile, if they fall an a soft surface they may survive, but they generally break if you drop em on solid ground, not unlike a metal or a plastic cup. And so , yes i had this fear of loosing this relationship,  a fear so strong that i felt like it was the end whenever there was even a slight bump. Why i felt like this was probably, because i have never had such an amazing relationship before. And so the idea of  loosing this one seemed terrible. So yes i kinda handled my relationship like a porcelain cup. 
It was after this, that i realized , that a relationship is how i make it to be, did i stop loving her after each and every bump ? No ! i didn't, so then why was i afraid that she would stop loving me? What i give in a relationship i deserved back, and  till now if i look at it, she has always been receptive, and i have always gotten what invested, so then my fear for her leaving me at a slightest bump, is irrational , it actually just stems from my immense love for her. and this immense love stage has been achieved by me because of all the love that i have received from her.. so she ain't gonna leave me.. so this can be a metal cup. That's a Relief.  

Question 8: What do you do with the cup?
Answer 8: I pick the cup up , and keep it in a safe place. 
Analysis: That is how i have been , protective and caring , of her and of the relationship. its good, but when i start doing so because i think that my relationship is a fragile thing, its turns bad. coz now  in my mind my relationship , though good, is also not strong. This is a wrong way to think about it.. i have guarded it for a long time, but i don't have to guard it  anymore, it can become a metal cup, and so i can carry it anywhere, my relationship can be something not good and fragile but something good and strong like a metal cup... it doesn't belong at home, in safety , if belongs out there with me traveling the world, going through life's up's and down's and still stong and good. 
The results of this test gave me a great insight on my own perception of my relationship and how i needed to change my perception for the universe to allow and provide me with the desired results. 

Do share your results in the comments of on the facebook page. 
Talk to me over the phone , if you want to discuss your insights at length and want my help to move ahead. just follow the link 

Thursday, 4 September 2014

YOU CREATE YOUR EXPERIENCE !


HOW ARE YOU FEELING ??

YOUR DAY TO DAY EXPERIENCE IS JUST A PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF WHAT"S GOING ON IN YOUR MIND ! 

It cant get simpler than this !! If you can just acknowledge this one simple Fact , then you can change your whole perspective of life and the living of life . 

Bad Days , can be transformed to good days in just a few moments , and Problems could be resolved in Moments . The universe always works instantly , the moment you set an intention ,its manifestation start's . The universe starts shaping your circumstances accordingly so that your intention can be met.
So Right now in this moment ...

What is your intention ? How are you feeling ?

Are you creating something wonderful ? (and creating something Amazing)
Or 
Are you stressing over something negative ? (and complicating the situation even more )

Are you appreciating yourself ? (And getting younger and happier and healthier by the moment)
Or 
Are you Holding on to some limiting belief about yourself ? ( And Gaining weight , loosing hair , loosing money and love and respect )

So , What is going on in your mind today ? 

NEED OUR HELP ?? ASK US ! CLICK HERE !

https://www.facebook.com/theyellowdoorway

http://theyellowdoorway.blogspot.in/

LETTING GO OF PAIN !






LETTING GO OF ANGER AND PAIN ! 

 The simple process with LOA is that you decide what you want , then you "feel" like you already posses what you want , the universe , then picks up on your 'feelings' and delivers to you whit precision what you want.

 But what if you cant feel it ? What if you cant feel anything? Or when it comes to having the feeling of having it the evidence from the past , stands up and stares at you right in the face ? 

 Sometimes , you go in for a quantum leap , you don't release the past ,and focus on your desire so hard , that the universe delivers to you your desire , but because you haven't let go of the anger and the pain , you see your desire turn rotten in front of you. 

 You manifest things but you have difficulty holding on to it...

 You loose the money you manifested , your Soul-mate now seems like the devil , the dream job you manifested , is starting to feel like your last few jobs , which you hated. 

 All this happens , when we , just jump into the visualizing , day dreaming Manifesting mode , without facing our demons. 

 So...is your dream relationship turning rotten for no real reason ? , the person you were supposed to feel love for now you seem to hate ? It might be that you are still holding on to the pain or suffering caused by this person or from the previous failed relationships . You know that its all now ancient history , and this pain seems illogical . But , nonetheless , it all too real and you are Angry inside , but you know that anger is a negative feeling , so you try your best to suppress it , distract yourself.. and forget about it... and slowly you feel a state where you cant feel anything at all.

 That was one example ... want More ? 

 So why is it , that the people who shoot up to fame and fortune fast , or win the jackpot and rake in a lot of money fast , cant seem to hold on to it. (There is a scientific research analyzing this phenomenon) . The faster the fame and money comes the faster they crash and burn. 

 Its all happens because we have learned to practice the Law of attraction , but we are still holding on to the Limiting beliefs , the anger , the pain and we haven't fully grasped the concept of letting go. 

 SO WHAT DO I DO ?

 You work through the anger , the pain and suffering . After learning so much about LOA , you do realize that you are the one who attracted all that suffering pain and bad experiences to yourself . But like any normal human being you find it easier to point out to an recipient external to you , who you can hold responsible for you pain , who you can be angry with , who you can accuse for all that is wrong in your life. 

 I suggest you do that ! Off-course not to that persons face. But you can always vent out at them in your thoughts ... here is what you do.

 Take out sometime and find a quite place where you can be alone , now pick up a person or a situation or god (if you are angry with god ) , you hold responsible for you misery ... now they are there to listen to you , and you are there to vent out you ... can scream at them , shout at them , call them names , reason with them , you can take a pillow , imagine its them ,and Go all Lucha libre on it for all i care . the goal here is to get angry . And vent out , dont leave anything , you can beat that pillow to an inch of its life , but instead of suppressing your anger for all this time ... try to take it all out. 

 Some people think being angry is a bad emotion , it is ,,, but it is better than self hate , and depression and frustration. When you get angry , you are actually in a higher vibration. 

 After you are done , you will feel lighter , And you will be able to breathe more better. repeat this exercise 3 times max (for one recipient) . 

 With your anger out of the way , you can now look at the universe rationally , if its a relationship you want healed , then you have to admit to yourself that , you just yelled and beat the shit out of the other person , so now the score is settled , you have a clean slate , and so does they . and they will behave exactly as you ask the universe for them to behave with you. 

 If its money you want to hold on to , then you have to acknowledge the fact that the universe is capable of providing you with unlimited financial abundance ,and you are doing well where you are and you will always do well financially .

 So if you can just work through you pain , you will finally find the peace you are looking for , all the uncertainty will dissolve and you will be a powerful creator. 

 So go .. try it ...

https://www.facebook.com/theyellowdoorway

Need Guidance ??? Click here 

WE started "Law of attraction" Coaching !!!!  :D  :D 
For India   
For Rest Of the World  
 
Created By SoraTemplates | Distributed By MyBloggerThemes